Corbin was not a planned child. His Father and I were not getting along and we both wanted our marriage to work. So, we decided to leave our small town for the city. His Father was born and raised in the Salt Lake area and that is where we went.
Corbin's cousins Shaun and Cody were deathly Ill with Leukodystrophy. Typically in cases of Leukodystrophy, your life expectancy is usually no more than about 5 years of age. His cousin Cody is about 14 years old and has outlived many life expectancies. He has been given only months to live on several occasions. Shaun's battle with Leukodystrophy was more severe at that time. He was deaf, blind, immobile and unable to ingest any foods other than pediasure through a tube inserted in his stomach. Emma had turned 1 on May 12th. Mothers Day was May 14th that year. On May 15th, just three days after Emma's birthday, our sweet Shaun passed away in the loving arms of his Mother and Father. He was 6 years old.
I had gotten sick the night of Shaun's funeral. Everyone was coming down sick. Just one of those things where many different people shake hands and one has a cold, therefore most of us got sick. It was about the second week in June and I still wasn't better. This nasty cold wasn't going away. Our Insurance was canceled in April and so I couldn't go to the Dr's. Finally I decided to apply for Chip and be seen. They said that I could go to a Doctor and once my Chip went through they would pay for the visit. So it was off to Granger Medical Clinic. I explained to the nurse how long I'd been sick and that everyone else was better weeks ago. They wanted to give me a medication that would help but in order to take it they had to make sure that I wasn't pregnant first.
I took the test and returned to the waiting room. I was off in my own little world when the Nurse came out and asked me to come back. I got up expecting to see the Doctor and get a prescription. The nurse asked me if there was a chance that I could be pregnant and I started laughing and told her that she just had me take a test, so why was she asking me. She grinned and asked me to look at the test strip and see if I saw a line. I didn't see anything. She was thoroughly convinced that she saw one. For a moment I thought that she was crazy. I kept looking at the strip and I could actually see a white line... on WHITE paper. What the... ? She said that the white line could be a positive but she wanted me to re-take the test to make sure. So, I did. And the result was the same. It was time for the Doctor's eyes to see what we weren't sure of. Sure enough, it was a straight up POSITIVE!! That's why I wasn't getting better!! It all made sense. I was due February 27th, 2007
I was seriously devastated. As wrong and rude as that may sound, it was true. My marriage was on the rocks and now this? I told him and his family and everyone was so excited!! I put on my best happy face and called Mom. I told her the news and she sounded happy. Then I started to cry. She asked me what was wrong and all my word vomit came out. I wasn't happy. I was hiding my anger with a smile. She knew that the timing wasn't good and understood why I was upset. Then she preceded to tell me how this baby was a blessing. And that regardless how my marriage ends up, I got a miracle and blessing from it all. She told me that God wouldn't give me anything that I can't handle. And if those words didn't help me then maybe the fact that this baby was a gift from my Father that died in 2004 would. And it did. I was still upset and struggling with the idea, but knowing that My own Father sending this gift to me, made me feel better.
Before I knew it, it was July and I could already feel him moving. I had missed that feeling more than I thought. I started to wonder if it was a girl or boy and what would I name him or her. We had a problem finding the right name for a girl and that's when I knew it had to be a boy!
At the end of July someone tried breaking into our apartment in the middle of the night. My (ex) husband was working nights at that time. We started to realize the danger of him not being home, me being pregnant and having 2 other small children in this city, wasn't a good idea. It was time to go home. We had barely been in Salt Lake 5 months and it was back to Richfield we went. By August 15th we were back home. We lived with family til' we found a place.
On September 20th it was confirmed that we were having a BOY! We were so excited! The idea of having this boy was already something that I had accepted by then and things were getting better. At 18 weeks it was time to take my AFP (Alpha-Fetoprotein) test. I had done the test with Kyden and it came back high for Downsyndrome. After many visits with Neonatology, we learned that there was nothing wrong with Kyden. So, with Emma I declined to take it cause it was not even needed with Kyden. I didn't want one. So I didn't. With Corbin, I had a feeling that it was needed so I took it. Sure enough there was something wrong. There were so many things that came up. My Mid-wife, Dixie told me that it wasn't Downs. I was relieved. Instead, it was much more. There was a high chance that my son would be still born. I was once again devastated. I had finally gotten excited and excepted this blessing and now it could all be taken away from me. She said that he could lose rapid amounts of weight, which was dangerous. OR, he could rapidly gain which was also scary.. If he got too big then he might not be able to fit through the birth canal and his organs might shut down. I was to be watched like a hawk! I was so scared.
Like Emma, I had non-stress tests and ultrasounds quite often to watch him very closely. I had no contraction at all through the whole pregnancy I only had Braxton Hicks. By December 20th I had started dilating slowly. Mid January I was only 1 1/2 cm dilated. So I was doing good. The baby was very active. We had moved in October to an apartment. And things were going pretty good. I started noticing, around Christmas time that I couldn't life my right leg. I was measuring about 49cm in fundal height and I thought that I just couldn't function well cause he was getting SO big! I could walk but that was about it. If I was going to bed or getting in the shower, I had to have someone lift my right leg for me. It was very painful to get around and that wasn't something that happened normally. I had a routine Ultrasound done around the 1st of Jan. the baby was weighing in at about 7lbs 10oz give or take a few. He was growing a bit TOO big TOO fast! Worried, the Mid-wife consulted the Doctor that was the attending physician. He wanted to keep watching the weight himself. On February 7th I had an Ultrasound and the baby's weight had increased to 9lbs 9oz. The Doctor himself was there for the Ultrasound. He told me that it was in our baby's best interest to get him out. I was barely 37 wks. The Doctor said that it was up to me to decide but an Amniocentesis was needed to determine if his lungs were developed enough to be born here. I agreed to do the testing. Let me tell you.... it is NO fun at all!!! After all that needle action the Dr told us that the baby's lungs were only at 51% developed. It only needed to be 50% to be born here and even though it was a risk, I was given steroids to mature his lungs. The C-section was scheduled for that next morning at 7a.m.
I remember that night so vividly. Family was called and we started preparing for baby. Family had come from Salt Lake to take care of the other kids and the house. I left the bustle of conversations to take a shower. My last shower being pregnant. I had already discussed with my Mid-wife and Dr that I wanted to be fixed. So, the plan was to be fixed that next morning... no more babies for me. This night would be the last of any pregnant memories for me. I stood there in the shower and I was deep in thought when baby started moving (he loved showers) and just like that, I was in tears. I was feeling him move and flip under my hand and I was scared that this would be the last time I would feel him move... what if he was still born after all....? All the thoughts, feelings and emotions flooded my mind. I finished my shower and went to bed early.... in tears. I loved my child. After how rotten I had been in the beginning, I might lose my baby...
On February 8th I was wheeled into the O.R. My previous deliveries I had been unable to have an Epidural. I was prepared for that this time too... which meant I wouldn't be conscious. The Anesthesiologist looked at my spine and told me, we can do this. I was nervous. It is always described as the most horrific pain, other than childbirth of course... but I didn't feel any more than a pinch. I had my first Epidural and it worked!! they didn't start the operation til' bout 7:30. Within a matter of a few tugs and pulls I heard the most beautiful sound in the world... he wasn't crying, he was shivering and grunting! :) He was dark red and beautiful!!! My son was born!! And well! The respiratory therapist was working on getting the fluid out of his lungs and said that his oxygen was very low. I was worried. They took him to the nursery. The Dr was cleaning me up and putting things back when he looked at me and asked, are you ready for the tubal? I told him no. After all the discussions about getting it done, I decided at the last possible second that I didn't wanna be denied the choice to be a Mother again. He smiled and stitched me up :).
After some tests were run, Corbin's lungs were at 97% matured by the time he was born. For some reason though he couldn't keep his oxygen up. He stayed in the hospital for 6 days following his birth. He was released on February 14th, the day before his brother's 4th birthday! We were sent home with an oxygen machine and Oximeter. He lived on it for 3 1/2 weeks with no real explanation. Every once in a while his OSATS will dip down to 65-ish for just the simple cold. Other than that, he is happy and healthy!! He is a fearless boy! A thrill seeker. He isn't afraid of very many things. We just love him to pieces!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment