Not sure.

Im not even sure if this blog gets read anymore, since I never post much anymore. And I appologize in advance for incorrect grammar or spelling, I am doing this from my phone so please bare with me.

I find myself running through different emotions tonight and all for good reason, just not sure why there are so many. I guess that Im what you would call a thinker. Someone who is constantly worrying about the past, present and future. Everything you could ever imagine, I think it every day. Not sure if Im just strange or if everyone does this.

For example, I think of the obvious first, my family. My husband is amazing and I love him like crazy. My kids are hellians, but I love them with every fiber of my being. My mother, because she is amazingly strong. My father... oh how I miss him. My siblings, because they are the best there is. My friends, because they still like me even though Im nuts. Then it gets serious... bills, exes, things that break, trust, hatred, bullying, more stress and the list grows.

Im not sure why Im writing this. Especially here. But I suppose its due to the fact that its after midnight and Im still awake because my mind wont rest until I vent.

I need to let go of things so that I can function properly. Maybe Im just being a baby. Meh, who knows. Im feeling pretty crappy tonight. Not the best Mom today. Life is precious. Family is all that is important. Something that I need to remember. I need to work on my communication skills a tad bit. Then I might not feel so shitty. Wish me luck.... Goodnight everyone. And sleep tight.

xo-Jackie

Bucket List

I have wanted to create one of these Bucket Lists for a very long time now and I think that I really need to start it. I can't see myself actually doing them in order but here goes a rough draft:

Fly in a plane.
Go to Hawaii (which also helps me out with flying ha)
Get noticed in the Photography world.
Open a studio.
Build a home.
Shake hands with someone famous.
Get a tattoo. (Yes, I am aware that this will not go over well with my Mother.)
Own a super expensive camera without going in debt.
Own size 4 pants Haha :)
**Fit in size 4 pants** Lol
Go to England. This is a HUGE dream!
Take my kids on a fun vacation before they leave the nest.
Have a food fight.
Take College classes.
Have a big birthday party! (Always thought a surprise birthday would be fun)
Read 100 books. (not a huge book reader. but I can check off about 15 books off the list)
Learn how to make furniture.
Take James to Scotland.
Travel the united states.
Take pictures of some of the countries most famous landmarks.
Buy a brand new car.
Go on a cruise... Just noticing how many of these require traveling. How exciting! :)
Be able to do a hand stand again. (Might take a long time to get there.)
Do army push-ups.
Go to at least 20 more concerts.


Now I realize that there is more traveling than anything else but I am okay with that. I can't wait to get started. All my life I have heard of everyone else going to Europe or Italy or more simple destinations, like California, New York and Florida-well it's now my chance to leave the state without my destination being Nevada. :)

Most of it is a Photography experience. And I can't wait to be a part of that. :)

Has anyone else made a list? I am curious.

Happy birthday to everyone who has leap year birthdays!! :)  -Just thought that I would throw that out there-

Facebook Trash?

I woke up this morning to get my kids ready for school and decided that I had a few extra minutes to check my Facebook, as I do so often throughout the day, and I was alarmed to see that one of my good guy friends soon to be EX Wife had gotten on to his Facebook and just blabbed to everyone about their personal life and really let him have it. I was shocked, appalled, irritated and just down right pissed off. Even though they will remain nameless, this girl always bashes her husband on Facebook as soon as he does something. No matter what he says, she trashes him. He has done nothing but be nice and try to fix things and every time he says he loves and misses the old times, she blabs on her Facebook what a liar he is and that she is moving on... then shortly after that they make up and she tells him that she doesn't wanna be without him. (really it goes much further than Facebook) Now, I realize that it may look like I am being biased cause he is my friend, but I befriended her at one time to. I also know that I am not 100% innocent in the Facebook trashing game, but I will NEVER trash anyone that I love or care about. EVER! I may complain about my ex, but I never drag our trash out for everyone to see. If you are going to trash someone do it on your OWN profile. There is no need to sign into someones account and let their personal business become everyone's business. No matter how much she nag's, trashes, and hammers him it won't make me think ill of him and I commented (yes, I know I shouldn't have) that I thought it was childish to spill his beans all over the net. Especially since he has no way of knowing or has the resources to check in and see what went down.

Maybe I am being dumb, but seriously, this made me mad. Why do people think that its okay to blast people like she did?! If you want to release your frustrations, DO IT ON YOUR OWN STATUS, don't log into someone's account and post it everywhere! Good hell, have respect! I don't care if you hate the person... CONTROL yourself before you do something that you know that you will regret! This isn't just about my friend, this goes for ALL of my friends that have had it happen to them OR have done it to others! One day you will learn, and when that day comes, it will be too late.... everyone will have their own opinions about you and your actions!

Anyways, that is what I think of it. I know that my thoughts or opinions don't even matter, but at this boiling point, I just don't care. :)